Microsoft

Microsoft is an evil, heartless, dispicable corporate enterprise. The world accepts this. Each month a new worm tromps across the grounds of the Internet because Microsoft, custodians of 90% of Net constituents' gardens, fail to keep the gates closed (no pun intended).

It's an incontravertible matter of record that Microsoft has acted to destroy the businesses of countless software concerns. Recent bulk licensing schemes for corporate clients exist mainly to extort disgusting sums out of fat companies.

Microsoft even filed a lawsuit against some poor kid.

Now, I'm not some kind of nut or zealot or anything. I own an Xbox. I'm proficient with Office. I use NT at work. Just, let's call a spade a spade, eh?

So now Microsoft is running a smattering of ads which revolve around children. Little fanciful animated pen strokes superimpose themselves on the screen and illustrate scenes from the ad childrens' futures. It's all about how Microsoft is building... something to make our childrens' lives brighter.

Bullshit.

Unless they're building a nuclear device capable of wiping Redmond, Washington off the face of the earth...

I'm kidding, of course.

I think.

No, I am.

But really. As a child of the eighties, along with Microsoft, what has the company done for me, thus far, except given me networks riddled with holes and patches and really bad software? Even in the face of Mr. Ballmer's cheerleader-inspired dance routines, I'm a little skeptical.

Hey. What if Microsoft got a cheerleading team together?

No. That's more of a Google thing.

Anyway. Stop trying to rebrand yourselves, Microsoft. The world knows you to be contemptible scumbags. Don't worry, we'll still buy your binary swill. But really. No matter how much gold spraypaint I use on a cow turd, it's still a cow turd.

Post-script: Don't blog when you're tired.