Sharper Image

I remember my first visit to a Sharper Image store. It was described to me as a "gadget store," which is a dramatically exciting concept to an eight year old boy. I was amazed and astonished both by the items in the store and by their prices.

Sharper Image is a good looking place. Clean lines. Metallic surfaces. Plenty of glass. Their brand logo, the unmistakable sans-serifed, all caps "SHARPER IMAGE" is the picture of polish, snazz, and refinement. James Bond would be at home in this store.

Thus is an image crafted over the course of years, slowly chiseled into the synaptic patterns of your every day consumer.

This must cost, what, millions? Tens of millions? Hundreds of millions? The sky is the limit.

So what kind of idiot would take such an investment, use it wipe himself, and flush it down the toilet?

I'm not sure. But there are apparently many, many such idiots currently employed at Sharper Image.

Sharper Image is relentlessly marketing an air purifier system. Let me define relentlessly for you. I mean I see their ads at least three times, daily. Sometimes double that. This isn't a big deal. Everyone buys ads.

Yet the Sharper Image ads are among the most embarassing, amateur, Infomercial-esque pieces of garbage the American public will ever be exposed to. The music is pure synth, ripped straight off a royalty-free library. The colors and titles are not even remotely reminiscent of the Sharper Image brand. The only thing tying this abomination to Sharper Image is their logo, which crops up with regularity, as well as the obnoxious announcer continually crowing "...from Sharper Image."

It is astonishing to me that such a store, with such an image, would choose such a graceless, pedestrian means of promoting a major product. It may simply be that the air purifier is their last, best hope. It's possible that people don't want to pay $150 for a Swiss Army knife that also functions as a sexual aid. In such a case, it really doesn't matter.

In any case... wow. What a way to tarnish a brand.