Jaguar

Sorry for the dearth of updates. School has kept me busy and when I'm busy I can't watch television.

Today, though, I was shocked to discover an unlikely pair: Jaguar and Catwoman. I'm not sure how long these ads have been running, but I couldn't help but crack a derisive grin.

This is, after all, the same movie which has inspired quotes like

"A stinky hairball on the soiled rug of the summer blockbuster schedule, gruesome enough to have been ejected from the esophagus of Bill the Cat..."
-- John Beifuss, Commercial Appeal

and

"So bad that I actually recommend you see it. It's the movie you and your friends will rip on all summer long."
-- James Brundage, filmcritic.com

So you can imagine my surprise to see an arguably ruined actress and a mercilessly terrible movie being pimped alongside one of America's most lust-inspiring automobiles.

The ad, which depicts Halle Berry studying a Jaguar hood ornament in a decidedly feline way, enthuses in British tones that viewers can see some specific new model of Jag in Catwoman, which is in theatres now.

I don't think Jaguar's marketing people are stupid. I really don't. With the cost of entry for their cars being the astronomical figure that it is, Jag can afford smart people. A press release about the film gushes on about both parties in the digusting tone that press releases invariably take, as though it's all the most wonderful and exciting kitty-themed narrative ever produced.

They never saw it coming.

Just as the average, decent individual walking through a park never expects to step on a big, mushy pile of dog shit, so did Jaguar prance their way into associating with the worst movie since... well, Crossroads.