Ditech.com

Now, we'll all agree that good things like pie are very nice to eat. Very tasty and satisfying. People will also agree that despite the goodness of pie, it would be ill-advised to eat a slice every ten minutes. Every day. For months.

Why, you would get obese. You would get sick from filling your tummy beyond capacity. This delicious pie would cease to be delicious. You would fail to love pie after only a few servings.

So, then, imagine if you were forced to consume, with the same regularity, something that was neither delicious nor enjoyable. Something, in fact, that raised the bile in your chest. Something that made the scorching, foul acid of your stomach splash in the back of your throat with every bite.

Now you understand my relationship with Ditech.com. Their ads are deplorable not only for their utter lack of inspiration and creativity, but also for the fact that they look as though they were shot using my mother's ancient VHS camcorder. My film elitism is a subject for another day, but the fact remains that ads shot on video look like amateur dog vomit.

This is all bad enough. The worst part is that this advertising of ipecac is dripped down my throat every other commercial break.

I'm not even going to comment on their use of a NASCAR driver as spokesman.