Google Hominem

I love Google, especially now that I'm on its receiving end.

Here are some interesting Google search queries that readers have been using to reach this blog.

• adam west kiosk


• ezlink "adam west"


• adam west ezlink lame


• crestor ad poem


• "Adam West" kiosk

Hmm.

Geico

I'm sick and tired of everybody saving a bunch of money by switching to Geico.

It's on the radio.

It's on the television.

It's not clever anymore.

Yes, initially, the ads, wherein people declare they have fantastic news during critically bad moments, were sort of grin-worthy. By now, though... I'm pretty sure years later... it's just tiresome. Eventually you need to move on. This dead horse has been beaten to a bloody, stinking, boring pulp.

Another criminal in this matter is MasterCard, whose Priceless campaign has long spoiled. Showmanship, which I believe is an essential part of successful advertising, is to leave people wanting more.

I'm really tired of things sucking.

Mercedes

By and large, I don't really mind Mercedes ads. I even like the one with all the photographs of proud Mercedes owners posing with their cars.

Recently, though, I was saddened and annoyed to note Mercedes' use of a Frank Sinatra classic, I've Got the World on a String to advertise some promotion or another they're holding. I love Sinatra, so on paper this wouldn't be bad at all. It's just that it's a cover -- not the original rendition.

Gone from the music is the triumph and satisfaction of being in love, which is the entire point of the song. Sung by a female vocalist, the song's tone of smug exultation has been replaced with that of lazy indifference. The singer's words ooze from the television speaker like clumps of putrid, apathetic mayonnaise. It's a gross disfigurement of a classic.

There is a lesson in all this. Even with dramatic amounts of cash, people will still produce crap given half a chance.

Surprise.

Local Ads

We've all seen them.

Lawyers with chroma-keyed backdrops that also manage to key out their eyeballs.

Poorly-lit pseudo models shot from an awkward, low angle, with no headroom, droning praise about an obscure agency.

Titles with profound spelling or grammar errors directing viewers to have their clothes dry-cleaned with next day turnaround.

Local-market television ads. In some cases, as in those for large auto dealerships, they're not so terrible -- even if they're fairly simplistic.

It always bothered me, even as a child, to see these embarassingly terrible ads. I wondered then, as I do today:

Don't the businesses involved get it? They look so stupid!

Is it better to look stupid publicly than to languish in obscurity? Better to confine yourself to the yellowpages than to walk around with a T-Shirt inscribed "I'm a stupid, tasteless moron?"

Looking back, I don't think I've ever patronized an establishment whose TV ad I found aesthetically brutalized. I'm tempted to declare that I refrained on principle, but I think the real explanation is even more telling: I simply wasn't convinced.

Now, obviously, if you're in a market starved for, say, an equine hair coloring service, you start such a business and successfully market it using a video recording of a crayon-inscribed business card.

Still.

Anyway, aside from really enjoying good commercials, I don't actually know dick. I'm using this post as an inaugural to Blogger's comments system for Ad hominem, as recommended by Manny.

Really: Is a shitty ad better than none at all?