Depend on a Shock

It's very, very rare that an TV commercial can come entirely out of left field and wallop me across the face. By and large, I can accurately guess the direction of a spot within the first five seconds.

Picture, though, this little tickler:

A lady in her sixties, looking faux-energetic, beside a convertible talking about taking a road trip with her girlfriend.

Man, more diabetes paraphernalia, I thought, bathed in naivete.

But, no.

The ad continued, mentioning something about an active lifestyle. Cholesterol medication!

Not quite.

Finally, the ad's star gushes, "I use Depend Underwear!"

Whoa, Molly.

Never saw that one coming. Depend, of course, is a brand of adult diaper. Naturally, this old broad never made use of the word "diaper," but here at Ad hominem, we call a spade a spade.

I didn't know Depend advertised. I thought it was one of those things that everyone knew about but had the discretion not to mention. Like an extra-martital affair or some cookie dough caught in the direct path of a sneeze.

In any case, my innocence is lost to me. What the internet and pop culture could not take has been shattered by some old grandma wearing a diaper.