Danilo Campos Ad hominem

Back from the dead. Briefly.

2004-12-29T21:40:00.000-05:00

Though I no longer watch television ads, thus making the continued updating of this blog impossible, I did receive a fascinating E-Mail tonight which must be shared. If you'd like to know what the sender is talking about, check out my post about Radio Shack. Enjoy. From: Knockout Queen Subject: (no subject) Date: December 29, 2004 19:15:57 EST To: weeb@mac.com I UNDERSTAND YOU SPEAKING

DVR

2004-09-20T19:10:00.000-04:00

You've noticed the silence. I got a DVR recently. I'm never, ever going to agonize over shitty advertising ever again. Thank you and good night. >>End Weblog<<

Depend on a Shock

2004-08-24T18:09:00.000-04:00

It's very, very rare that an TV commercial can come entirely out of left field and wallop me across the face. By and large, I can accurately guess the direction of a spot within the first five seconds. Picture, though, this little tickler: A lady in her sixties, looking faux-energetic, beside a convertible talking about taking a road trip with her girlfriend. Man, more diabetes paraphernalia,

The Lexus Golden Opportunity Sales Event

2004-08-24T03:10:00.000-04:00

Lexus ads don't stick out in my memory as particularly bothersome. They also don't stick out as particularly genius. Their marketing may have turned a corner. Recently I've had the pleasure of the spots trumpeting their "Golden Opportunity Sales Event" promotion. Each spot features an unlikely person proposing an even unlikelier business opportunity to a potential investor. One spot seems to

Winn Dixie

2004-08-23T10:26:00.000-04:00

I try not to discuss regional marketing or entities -- I'd just be leaving out too much of my audience who live outside the region. It's limited enough as it is -- only those in North America can really get any take-away from this blog. I'll make an exception in this case simply because my comments have more to do with business than advertising. I saw a Winn Dixie ad the other day. Their slogan

WiFi @ Best Buy

2004-08-21T22:13:00.000-04:00

You know that Best Buy ad where the marionette puppet walks into the store and gets a hard-on when he learns about their wireless internet gadgets? You know, the one that was cute for the first five times but now makes you wretch with fury each time you see it? Or maybe that's just me. In any case, I really wish they would make it go away. Particularly now that they're slapping on additional

800-CALL-ATT

2004-08-21T02:29:00.000-04:00

When is AT&T going to cut out this Carrot Top shit? I'm not going to gratify these ads with a description here. Most everyone has seen these at least once in the last two or so years. It's not that Carrot Top isn't funny. He's actually, by all accounts, a pretty darn good comedian. He comes across as an obnoxious ass on television, but those who see his Vegas show hold it in amusing regard.

Ameritrade

2004-08-20T17:55:00.000-04:00

Stewart is back! During the dot-com boom era, electronic stock trading companies were big business. Along with this big business came big advertising. A favorite was for Ameritrade, an online broker whose ads featured a red-haired fellow named Stewart. Though he was a consummate slacker, Stewart's technical skill was unimpeachable. The early Ameritrade ads featured Stewart guiding his boss, "Mr.

Geico, redux

2004-08-19T17:03:00.000-04:00

I'm going to have to retract a little of my irritation with Geico. Over the powerless weekend, I was using my battery powered radio as sole means of entertainment. I heard an ad that went something like this, regarding a mattress factory. "No payments, no interest until 2017!" My interest was piqued. I need a new mattress. Mine really hurts my back and shoulders. The ad continued about the

Priceline

2004-08-18T14:42:00.000-04:00

Initially, I sort of liked the Priceline ad where the inimitable William Shatner is, to his chagrine, replaced by Leonard Nimoy, his longtime Star Trek co-star. I'm a trekkie, I'll admit it. I also really like both actors. It's getting a little stale, though. In recent weeks, the fitional brinksmanship between the two talents has become a little blah. So blah that I don't even have the energy

Blogger Bar

2004-08-18T11:07:00.000-04:00

Thank you ever so much to the folks at Google and Blogger, who recently decided to drop the super ugly AdWords bar on the top of Blogspot hosted blogs. The replacement Blogger Bar is much more sexy and matches my template. Bravo, for again making the best free blog service ever.

Excellence

2004-08-18T03:05:00.000-04:00

Since I started this blog, I've been hearing the same general query from people I know: "You realize advertisements are meant to sell products, right?" And the answer, naturally, is yes. The point to critiquing advertisements has less to do with my desire for entertainment than it does my desire for excellence. For a great many companies, television advertisements leave the first and most

Charlie Footage

2004-08-16T14:15:00.000-04:00

Here's some video of Charley I shot on Friday. Really wild weather. You'll need QuickTime. Oh, and those who asked, I'm doing fine. Electricity is still spotty, so I have to borrow it from others, but I made out okay. The ones to pity are those hardest hit on the west coast of Florida. Prayers be with them. UPDATE Link fixed.

Charley

2004-08-15T14:18:00.000-04:00

If you don't mind my getting a little extra-curricular, I'll tell you a bit about my meeting with Hurricane Charley this weekend. Friday started off normally enough, with just a little rain, which is normal enough for Central Florida. My Fiancee, Ashley, was getting a little nervous -- or a little excited -- by the early afternoon. It was premature, though. The fun wouldn't start until evening.

AFLAC

2004-08-12T19:17:00.000-04:00

I have a curious affection for all variety of waterfowl, including the lovable duck. It will come as no surprise, then, that I have always enjoyed AFLAC ads. I mean, that AFLAC duck is awesome. That is all.

Charley

2004-08-12T15:59:00.000-04:00

As you can see from the below graphic, I'm right in the path of Hurricane Charley. Which means that I might lose electricity. Which would then mean I couldn't watch TV. Or Blog. Map courtesy The Weather Channel.

Nascar on TNT

2004-08-12T11:47:00.000-04:00

I was watching The X-Files on TNT the other day with the missus and noticed something really, really lame. Mulder and Scully were discussing something fairly important in hushed tones. It was an essential plot development moment. SCREECH! Then, from nowhere, this obtrusive, ugly NASCAR graphic pops into the frame, complete with tire squeal sound effects. I gritted my teeth, hoping it would

TBS: Not very funny

2004-08-12T01:40:00.000-04:00

I've been seeing a little of TBS lately, for reasons I can't remember. I think I wanted to know if Sex and the City was still watchable without the frontal nudity or explicit language. One thing I've noticed is that they're taking a full sixty seconds to do some of their station ID's. I guess TBS is trying to position itself as your one-stop shop for primetime comedy. These sixty second

Office Max

2004-08-11T03:16:00.000-04:00

A few months back, there was a pretty peppy but otherwise enjoyable ad for Office Max, sporting the song Rubber Band Man, by the Spinners. It featured an afroed supply guru pushing a cart replete with office consumables cheerfully through a corporate workspace. In the midst of office crises, this Rubber Band Man was there just in time with organizational tools, cleaning goodies and other fun

FedEx Kinko's

2004-08-10T08:26:00.000-04:00

FedEx ads have never, ever sucked. They've always been informative on one hand and really enjoyable on the other. I've lost count of the FedEx ads I've declared as favorites over the years -- so many new and funny ones come and take their place that it's impossible to keep track. Kinko's has also pleased me with their advertising repertoire. Sometimes funny, sometimes simple, always tasteful.

Ditech.com

2004-08-09T16:59:00.000-04:00

Now, we'll all agree that good things like pie are very nice to eat. Very tasty and satisfying. People will also agree that despite the goodness of pie, it would be ill-advised to eat a slice every ten minutes. Every day. For months. Why, you would get obese. You would get sick from filling your tummy beyond capacity. This delicious pie would cease to be delicious. You would fail to love pie

I'm Not Lovin' It

2004-08-08T15:23:00.000-04:00

I hate McDonald's ads. I always have. They're such contemptible bullshit. But I think that Maddox can explain a bit more effectively than I can.

Cable's Gift to America

2004-08-08T15:11:00.000-04:00

I recently learned that C-SPAN, the cable channel dedicated to televising congressional business, turns 25 this year. Several spots highlight this on the various cable channels. People from many varied walks of life gush synthetically about their love of... C-SPAN. The ads end by calling C-SPAN "Cable's gift to America." You know, I consider myself a pretty literate and informed individual. Few

Dairy Queen

2004-08-07T01:16:00.000-04:00

There are few creations on earth that have earned my complete and life-altering disdain. Members of this exclusive excrement club include Richard Simmons exercise videos and all those made-for-cable movies on Lifetime. There's also Dairy Queen ads. Few things can be accomplished in a mere thirty seconds to inspire my seething, murderous rage. Showing me a Dairy Queen ad, from any period in the

Jaguar

2004-08-04T18:22:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the dearth of updates. School has kept me busy and when I'm busy I can't watch television. Today, though, I was shocked to discover an unlikely pair: Jaguar and Catwoman. I'm not sure how long these ads have been running, but I couldn't help but crack a derisive grin. This is, after all, the same movie which has inspired quotes like "A stinky hairball on the soiled rug of the summer

Google Hominem

2004-07-13T00:00:00.000-04:00

I love Google, especially now that I'm on its receiving end. Here are some interesting Google search queries that readers have been using to reach this blog. adam west kiosk ezlink "adam west" adam west ezlink lame crestor ad poem "Adam West" kiosk Hmm.

Geico

2004-07-12T23:53:00.000-04:00

I'm sick and tired of everybody saving a bunch of money by switching to Geico. It's on the radio. It's on the television. It's not clever anymore. Yes, initially, the ads, wherein people declare they have fantastic news during critically bad moments, were sort of grin-worthy. By now, though... I'm pretty sure years later... it's just tiresome. Eventually you need to move on. This dead horse

Mercedes

2004-07-08T09:28:00.000-04:00

By and large, I don't really mind Mercedes ads. I even like the one with all the photographs of proud Mercedes owners posing with their cars. Recently, though, I was saddened and annoyed to note Mercedes' use of a Frank Sinatra classic, I've Got the World on a String to advertise some promotion or another they're holding. I love Sinatra, so on paper this wouldn't be bad at all. It's just that

Local Ads

2004-07-01T17:12:00.000-04:00

We've all seen them. Lawyers with chroma-keyed backdrops that also manage to key out their eyeballs. Poorly-lit pseudo models shot from an awkward, low angle, with no headroom, droning praise about an obscure agency. Titles with profound spelling or grammar errors directing viewers to have their clothes dry-cleaned with next day turnaround. Local-market television ads. In some cases, as in

Ask Manny

2004-06-26T21:23:00.000-04:00

One ad that doesn't suck is the plug my friend Manny gave Ad hominem. Thanks Manny. To hear opinion and commentary from a fellow whose achievements range from being an Amazon.com Top 100 reviewer to having once managed a Venezuelan diaper factory, all having scored a Master's from Cornell, check out his blog, Ask Manny.

Pepto Bismol

2004-06-26T21:13:00.000-04:00

Now, where I'm from, we don't really talk about it when we have intestinal discomfort. It's just something that happens, the stomach is declared unfit, and much time is spent in the bathroom. I think this sort of tact is pretty American. We love to talk about our sexual parts but we keep pretty quiet about our less palatable components. I think that toilet paper ads are particularly bad in

Intel Centrino

2004-06-07T13:46:00.000-04:00

One thing that really, really galls me is a recent ad for Intel's Centrino processor, which is used in laptops and whored around for its integrated wifi compatibility. Fair enough. In the ad, you have a couple strapping a webcam to their laptop in the middle of some Greek ruins. The voiceover declares that with Centrino's wireless capabilities, a Greek amphitheater, which lacks any electrical

Carbs

2004-05-28T19:22:00.000-04:00

I wish Dr. Atkins were still alive. I'm not trying to be crass. I mean it. Were Atkins still with us, people would still laugh at his silly diet and I would not be tortured by a torrent of anti-carb marketing. Unfortunately, as has always been the case in history, his passing has coincided with his vindication. Everywhere I go, from the supermarket to the bookstore, I hear nothing but prattle

Ashley Furniture

2004-05-22T22:27:00.000-04:00

I saw something astonishing today. Not astonishing by merit of its overall poor quality or ability to annoy. It was a pretty innocuous ad. No, it was astonishing because it was by far the most ineffective (and probably costly) waste of advertising time and development I'd ever seen. Ashley Furniture is trying to sell their wares... using Garfield. Why in the name of all that is decent would

Siemens

2004-05-13T06:32:00.000-04:00

Few ads make me angry. When I say angry, I don't mean irritated. I don't mean bothered. I don't mean violently homocidal, either. I mean a cool, completely controlled hunger for murder. Siemens makes some of these deplorable abortions of marketing. First, they've got a bit of a schizophrenia happening. They're depicting doctors and other professionals and ostensibly pitching to business

web-ex

2004-05-13T05:47:00.000-04:00

I just spoke with one of my mafia connections this evening. Lily Tomlin won't be giving us any more trouble. 'nough said.

EZ Link

2004-05-12T22:23:00.000-04:00

I saw something pathetic on TV today. It was Batman's Adam West, selling out not to a car company, not to a softdrink or fast food restaurant, and not even to Radio Shack. Mr. West sold out to... a public Internet kiosk. Amid a a few lame references to Batman was a pitch to lazy entrepreneurs about a handy little kiosk that, when placed in the right public venue, will almost certainly produce

Brief Programming Note

2004-05-08T07:15:00.000-04:00

We've been doing Ad hominem since March. As of today we've logged our 100th hit. Which, for blog that's been running for over a month and a half, really sucks. I believe my hundredth visitor was dear friend Adam Stanford. Who, incidentally, was also the fourth, the 13th, and plenty of others. (And don't worry, Adam. I'll get around to calling you eventually.) So, if you read and enjoy Ad

Microsoft

2004-05-08T06:43:00.000-04:00

Microsoft is an evil, heartless, dispicable corporate enterprise. The world accepts this. Each month a new worm tromps across the grounds of the Internet because Microsoft, custodians of 90% of Net constituents' gardens, fail to keep the gates closed (no pun intended). It's an incontravertible matter of record that Microsoft has acted to destroy the businesses of countless software concerns.

Crestor

2004-05-04T23:42:00.000-04:00

This was, initially, yet another product whose ads were unclear about what exactly it does. Later ads indicate it's to help people who can't seem to get their cholesterol in line. Fair enough. Each ad is framed around a voiceover about Crestor. They're written like a child's poem, with rhyming and assonance and all that stuff. That's a little weird to me. And to others, I'm quite certain. The

Tampax Pearl

2004-05-02T21:17:00.000-04:00

The whole Feminine Hygiene market is something that I'd venture most men find pretty distasteful. It's not that we don't sympathize with the needs of women or the products in place to satisfy those needs. (Well, I'm sure plenty of men don't sympathize, but I'm also sure they don't know how to read above third grade level anyway.) Guys would just prefer not to be pitched to about the latest

Goldfish, Pier 1

2004-04-30T21:39:00.000-04:00

I just saw Queer Eye's Carson Kressley do an ad for Pepperidge Farm's Goldfish cheese snack crackers. At first I found Mr. Kressley a little... I dunno, queer. But he grew on me. I'm not sure how I feel about this ad, though. Instinctively, I'm a sucker for celebrity TV ads. Moreover, I thoroughly enjoy Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Yet, stylish homosexuals do not necessarily have a touch of

Dell

2004-04-30T21:19:00.000-04:00

I don't know why I so despise Dell ads. It's not that they're painfully obnoxious. It's that they're banal and moderately obnoxious. And there are so many of them. Dell, along with Gateway, is one of the whores of personal computer sales. Since they're strictly build-to-order and thus have no store presence, Dell has to spend exorbitant amounts of money making sure the buying public knows who

Radio Shack

2004-04-17T21:40:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the unannounced hiatus, blog friends. Spring Break called and I heeded. So let's talk about Radio Shack. Comcast cable subscribers are the most harassed by Radio Shack, but I think it safe to say that in the past few years we have all been exposed to the raw crappiness that is Radio Shack television ads. You've seen Howie Long and Vanessa Williams and a few other sell-outs sit around

Super Target

2004-04-03T02:57:00.000-05:00

Target has succeeded in a phenomenal branding effort. Over the last few years, people have come to love the place. Their ads are inspired and at one point even featured the undeniably charming bull terrier. I mean, look at that puppy. It's adorable. So Target's good with image. And I must say, their Super Target is swell. All the goodies of Target, plus a supermarket. So how do we herald the

Skittles

2004-04-02T00:27:00.000-05:00

So what's with that? It's been a very long time since I saw a Skittles ad that actually made sense. It's always bizarre drug-trip style stuff. Rainbow-colored things lurking around making trouble. Sometimes the colorful candies fall from the sky. Now they're doing something with flying rainbow-colored fish. Come on, man. Go the extra mile, M&M/Mars. Give me something clever. I mean, I like

Wal-Mart

2004-03-30T22:50:00.000-05:00

There is a general understanding between consumers and advertisers. Advertisers, for their part, represent themselves in a way which is more or less true but that wholly omits any aspect of their business or product which is unflattering. They're obliged, legally, not to lie to us but they're allowed to embellish the good bits. We, as consumers, then acknowledge that the advertiser is blowing

Sharper Image

2004-03-27T17:37:00.000-05:00

I remember my first visit to a Sharper Image store. It was described to me as a "gadget store," which is a dramatically exciting concept to an eight year old boy. I was amazed and astonished both by the items in the store and by their prices. Sharper Image is a good looking place. Clean lines. Metallic surfaces. Plenty of glass. Their brand logo, the unmistakable sans-serifed, all caps "SHARPER

Circuit City

2004-03-27T15:05:00.000-05:00

There's a certain electronics chain. Their ads have never once told me about specific prices or promotions. They sell me on the store, on how fun it must be to shop there, about how the people who serve you there are your best friends. This chain is the number one electronics retailer in the US. This chain is Best Buy. Now, having worked there I can tell you that the above picture isn't

Hummer - Big Race

2004-03-25T05:33:00.000-05:00

I was gonna talk a bit about the H2 ad with the kid and the soapbox car race, but then I stumbled onto this piece at Slate, which says everything I could have covered, and more. Word. Stick to the commercial man.

DirecTV

2004-03-24T21:21:00.000-05:00

DirecTV does things pretty well. I used to sell it, when I worked at Best Buy, and it was rare to bump into someone who'd had a bad experience with the satellite provider. They round out their excellent service with an excellent image - due in no small part to some really good advertisements. My favorite of DirecTV's admittedly large portfolio of slam dunks has to be their recent use of actors

Cingular Nation

2004-03-24T18:42:00.000-05:00

I hated Cingular ads for awhile. They were doing it wrong. Cingular basically spent thirty or sixty seconds making their logo fit into various naturally-occurring patterns. It was commercial masturbation. Now they're talking about substance and I like it. Their Nation plan allows consumers to stop worrying about wireless roaming. It portrays your average Joe or Jane lamenting about their

Back to Back

2004-03-24T01:21:00.000-05:00

What's with advertisers playing their spots consecutively? Lately I see a lot of this, mainly from the Berkeley Neutraceuticals people who are trying to market pep-up and sex-up pills for men and women. I'm not going to name these brands - I'm displeased with their repetition and dubious credibility. But why do companies feel the need to do this? The ultimate rule in showmanship is to leave the

Suzuki Forenza

2004-03-22T23:12:00.000-05:00

Believe it or not, I made Ad hominem specifically because I wanted to rant about this ad. Suzuki is like that kid you knew in school who tried way too hard. He wasn't, you know, a bad guy or anything. Just kind of annoying, what with the trying too hard all the time. Except I can tell Suzuki exactly how much it sucks and not feel at all bad about it. To start, there's the ugly Suzuki logo.

MSN

2004-03-22T16:55:00.000-05:00

Although I am loathe to praise Microsoft, their recent Butterfly campaign definitely earned its place as a favorite in my book. The ads show familiar scenarios peopled with believable characters - plus someone in a comically bulbous Butterfly suit to help out. Acting as a surrogate for the MSN software, the Butterfly helps kids get permission to surf the web, helps boyfriends make up with their

Wendy's and Shatner

2004-03-21T23:55:00.000-05:00

Wendy's has a spot out with William Shatner now and I feel like I'm missing something. They're jumping on the health fad, advertising their spinach salads. A party goer brings a bunch of these salads to a party thrown by Bill, who is puzzled at the "unofficial" status of salad man. I think there's a punchline somewhere in there. I'm confused. And why is William Shatner advertising for Wendy's?

MCI's The Neighborhood

2004-03-19T20:49:00.000-05:00

Admittedly, I am nowhere near MCI's target audience for their Neighborhood ads. I imagine the target to be: Old Homeowners Dual-income households Fair enough. I'm not there. Even so, I think that MCI's Neighborhood ads are among the stupidest advertising I have ever seen. We have a bunch of disjointed shots of people doing lovey-dovey saccharine things while someone takes photos. Then we cut

Allstate

2004-03-19T17:05:00.000-05:00

Dennis Haysbert is, without question, a bad motherfucker. He's imposing, yet gentle. Firm yet pleasant. I put Haysbert's voice in my top five favorite voices. You've seen and admired Haysbert in 24. You'll also see him in Allstate's new campaign, Our Stand. Why do I love Our Stand? Haysbert's voice. I won't pretend. Haysbert's voice is just awesome. Sells it. More than that, though, Allstate has

Kyocera-Mita

2004-03-19T16:53:00.000-05:00

Utter crap. Kyocera-Mita needs to fire their marketing department and ad agency. They've been either ineffective or downright obnoxious at least for the last year and a half. These days, Kyocera-Mita uses an ad that depicts a company meeting where everyone is tickled to discover that their organization is migrating to K-M machines. Whoopie. I have plenty of beefs with how annoying this ad is,

United

2004-03-18T21:46:00.000-05:00

My current favorite TV ad is called "Interview" and pimps the comfort of United Airlines. Have a look. The ad's a quick one, thirty seconds, but it really tells a story in such a pleasant and personal way. I'm a sucker for piano, of course, so Rhapsody in Blue biases me a bit toward Interview. This ad is engaging and very, very effective. The sleeping job candidate at the end made me want to run

All aboard.

2004-03-18T21:34:00.000-05:00

Welcome to another attempt at blogging. This time I'm not going to indulge myself quite so much. This time, we're gonna talk about advertising. There is a huge volume of ads in the media today. Some of them are okay. Some of them are really, really bad. And a few, just a few, are really really good. I'm going to talk about all of them. I'm an advertising junkie. I love 'em. I collect 'em. I